Can we talk about negative comments?
This week, I received two negative comment regarding my writing style. The first one brought me down quite a bit, and I was pretty upset and hurt by what was written. Then the second negative comment was posted, which agreed with the opinion of the first.
My readers – I don’t even think I should call you that – my sewing friends, mean a lot to me. More than most people know. I read their comments at one in the morning when I should be sleeping, during work meetings when I shouldn’t be on my phone, in the middle of a conversation when I should be present in the moment. You inspire my projects and you keep me going when I don’t think I can go anymore. I spend too much money on patterns and fabric just like they do, and I travel to different cities just to see them. All my extracurricular time goes to them – mornings, nights and weekends.
Call me naïve, but I don’t understand the negativity. The sewing community is one of the most accepting, convivial, good-humored and definitely lively circle. Many of my real-world friends are shocked when they find out that I personally know “my readers.” My best friend is someone I met online through blogging. I don’t care if you’re just starting out in the game or have been at it for twenty years, you are a welcomed addition to us hamlet of stitchers.
I consider everyone’s blog their homes – a place where they can be whoever and create whatever, however they want. It’s your space! As long as you’re not affecting me and not stating incorrect facts, you can make a top with the ugliest, hot pink topstitching, wonkiest bias binding and most uneven hem. The seams could not match and the stripes could not be centered, but as long as you’re happy, I’m happy. It’s like a 2-year-old wearing a pretty pink princess outfit with lipstick smudged all over her face and her mother’s pearls wrapped around her neck. She thinks she’s beautiful and I think she’s pretty awesome because of that.
I’m all for constructive criticism – it makes me a better sewer, writer and person and it’s definitely welcome on this blog – but there’s a line between constructive and hostile.
A very wise woman – she will know that I’m referring to her – used an on-point metaphor to describe the situation. I won’t mention her name and I hope she doesn’t get mad at me for using her comparison. Actually, I’ll quote her. What makes a community go from happy to bitchy all of a sudden? Maybe it’s something similar to The Matrix. The machines have created a perfect environment for humans and found that humans wanted, actually needed, conflict and drama. That’s interesting…
I’m careful not to make Madalynne my diary, but today, I’m getting personal. Why? Because if there is one thing I have learned in the past year, it’s to stand up for myself and not feel ashamed. I slightly regret my reply – it was just as negative as the comment and two wrongs don’t make a right – but it’s not the first time someone has written harsh statements. People have had negative things to say about my looks, the way I pose in photos and more. I’m human and I have feelings.
My mom and I connected with words. When I got home from school, we would fill out the crossword puzzles from the local newspaper and laugh at the ridiculous verbiage Bill O’Reilly would say during his evening show. Even when she had no hair and was in a wheelchair, we still continued our tradition.